missing my honey...

So here I am four days in and I dont feel any better about it. My Honey had to go away for work, away as in another country :( makes me so sad, I thought after the first couple od days it would get better and its only getting worse. Im not exactly sure why it is so hard for me. I know it has to do with the baby, my hormones, and the fact I barely ever spend any time away from him. Waking up and go to sleep without the man I love is one of the hardest things ever.  I  have to thank Apple, because without face time, my heart would be so much more sad than it is, if that is even possible. Im afraid Colin is not going to recognize him when he gets back, two weeks is a long time to a little baby who is just learning things. - which bring sme to the next topic....

I take colin for his FOUR MONTH CHECK UP!! are you kidding me...the new things, he is 3/4s rolling over...im terrified hell do it while his daddy is gone, and hell miss it. & at our last appointment, the dr mentioned we'd be talking about food at this appointment. My honey is going to miss his first feeding. I promised to video it, so he can see it.

It just breaks my heart....makes me so sad. I cry almost every night going to bed, and waking up. During the day I've been trying my best to keep myself busy busy busy, and its working, but as soon as home, and im here, and looking at the door I feel like he should be here. I feel so pathetic. Never in my life, was I the kind of person who cant be alone, its not specifically the being alone, its the being without my best friend, my better half, the love of my life.

Thanks for listening to my lameness..LOL

Look forward till tomorrow when I update Colin's four month info...SO INSANE!! where has four months gone?

OHHH!!! real quick, my gym did the right thing, and the woman who was watching colin in the kid care is no longer taking care of the children. Made me so happy that they took me seriously, listened to what was going on and handled it accordingly.

Had my High school reunion....that was interesting. We drank and hung out, and went to blue martini and i fucking kidding myself, I hate that fing place, had one drink and left. Ended up drinking a litttttle more than I thought I would, was HUNG over driving honey to the airport--hung over from crying and drinking. But it was nice to see everyone, and meet new people.