Not a lot of people know this about me, but I am extremely emotional. I take things to heart very easily, even when I shouldn't. I get upset easy, and my feelings get hurt the easiest. So when people ask how my pregnancy has been I always tell them relatively easy. No complaints. No morning sickness, none of these rare diseases I've been learning about etc. I do that because I dont want people to think I am a martyr. When in all actuality. Ive had a rough pregnancy, emotionally a rough pregnancy. A few other things here and there but mostly my emotions have really taken off.
When I first became pregnant, the first trimester was a great depression for me. I was so depressed, I had the opportunity to go to a TAYLOR SWIFT concert for free and didnt go because I stayed in bed crying. Now if you know me at all, you know that is completely unheard of. Things tapered off a little during second trimester, and would slowly rise but nothing as bad as the first. You hear people say third trimester everything comes back full circle. I have been relatively lucky thus far. I have had a few, well ok, maybe more than a few, flare ups of my emotional side, this morning was a true testimony to that!
I was in the bathroom doing my morning routine, sitting on the toliet checking my belly button with a hand held mirror to make sure that it hasn't become an outie. (im neurotic, and terrified to have one) I move the mirror down, and BAM there they are....THREE NEW STRETCH MARKS, ON MY STOMACH. I've been semi-ok with the stretch marks on my hips, my boobs, my thighs, oh and my inner thighs. Only was I ok with these because my belly was unscathed. Well that all changed today. I had a mental breakdown. Yes I only have about 5 weeks left. So why now??? Why do these little bastard stretch marks feel like it is ok to invade my belly now!!! I have followed the rules, cocoa butter, bought the Palmers stretch mark lotion. all lies! none of it works, if you're going to get them you're going to get them. I look like the damn purple people eater.
Of course my sweet sweet honey tries to make me feel better takes the mirror away. Tells me its ok, they wont stay this nasty color, and they will fade and barely been seen. Yeah, you try and calm a neurotic, over emotional, hysterical pregnant chick. Not going to happen.
Next fabulous topic. Menstrual like cramps...um I havent had my period in nine months, why was I up all night with cramps like when I was 16 not on birth control. Holy awful. I swear no one tells you this stuff! haha They keep the bad stuff to themselves, and just go on and on and on about how great pregnancy is. Yes, the end result is fabulous, you have created this human, this beautiful little baby thats yours forever. BUT everything leading up to it, well not everything ;-) is crappy. Luckily, I have a dr appointment so I can ask why I feel like someone is stabbing my ovaries when Im pregnant and not suppose to get period cramps! haha
On a happy happy joy joy note. I have an ultra sound today. Hopefully I get to see my handsome little bugger!!!! <3 <3 <3
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