1/2 of a year...

Colin Patrick Egan, has been in my life for six months now....I cannot believe how fast the time has flown. I remember being a child and wishing time would go faster, I was always told that I would wish time would slow when I got older. I never believed that, thought it was grownups just telling me what they wanted to. Gosh were they right, I look at where my life was and where my life is one year ago and I am FLOORED. A year ago, my best friend had her second child, a boy, I was four months pregnant, about to celebrate thanksgiving. Now, that sweet boy is one!! and my baby is 6 months. I have been so emotional the last few days. The last few days Colin has grown so much right before my eyes.

He says dada officially, he drinks out of a sippy cup, hes 80% sitting up, he needs help getting there and he can sit for a few seconds before he tips, hes loving his toes, in his mouth ALWAYS. He is teething, drool drool drool, chew chew chew, naw naw naw, cry cry cry! soon we should have a tooth (part of me doesnt want it to happen, then itll just be another thing to add to my emotions haha)

I am truly a blessed momma, Colin is such a sweet boy. Happiest 6 months my love.

am i kidding!!!

7 weeks!! who the fuck do I think I am? A mom or something?? LOL

If you are a mom you know how much can change in seven weeks, and if not now you will. So here it is....

1. He eats breakfast and dinner - fruits (apples, & pears), meat (chicken and pork), veggies (sweet potatos, corn, peas, squash)
2. He rolls, front to back and back to front
3. He east about 6.5 ounces of just formula (had to stop breast feeding, my supply decreased and he lost weight, that was a rough rough few weeks), I had tried to feed him 6oz awhile ago but he kept puking it up, now he holds it down.
4. raspberries are a favorite
5. he loves being outside, especially now with the cooler weather
6. HE HOLDS HIS BOTTLE!!! my little little man holds his bottle
7. He sleeps on his belly with his cute little tush in the air
8. He plays on his activity mat for about one hour every day by himself
9. knows how to get what he wants by whining a little *brat ass*
10. He cries only around me, when aunt amy or aunt lele have him, hes a perfect fing angel, not for mommy, he screams bloody murder....its getting better, but still happens
11. He sleeps pretty good at night, 13 hours till were up for the day, but not straight through
12. LOVES HIS MOMMY he will cuddle with me (when hes not screaming at me)
13. hes almost 6 months old, Im posting 5 month pics and hell be 6 months in 11 days (holy fucking shit....11 days)


So thats baby news...heres mommy news. My best friend got married, I actually fit into my dress (size 6), then decided to get fat again i wanna shoot myself. I told a friend I will do a spartan race with her so I have to start training on monday for that. the website says its 8 miles she tells me no its 9.2 FML. So yes training starts MONDAY. We celebrated Halloween, Colins first, and he was superman, Ricky was batman and I was Robin...mom was the fing sidekick how the f did that happen? especially since I picked them! realllllll smart cookie. I decided Im going to blog about my training for the spartan race also on here. My life is yes about my baby but its also about ME, My friends and my honey...so from here on out, my blog will be about Colin and my life. My Next post will be about MM....what does MM stand for you ask yourself....Just keep reading and youll find out....

For now...set your eyes upon some awesome pictures of me my honey, my friends and my BEAUTIFUL baby.....

7 more days, cereal, raspberries, & formula

7 more days until my honey gets home. Slowest. six. days. of. my. life. The most terrible, depressive, boring days of my life. At least in two days I get my mom from the airport, spend 5 days with her, and then my better half comes home <3

While he was gone, I started Colin on his cereal like the dr suggested. HA he hatttteeeddd it at first. But 1/2 hr later, I got four very very small spoonfuls in him. Bathed then went to bed. He slept like shit and kept me up all night. Wanted to shank myself. Tonight, I tried cereal again tonight, and not only did he eat it, but he opened his mouth for the spoon and let out a couple "mmmm"s. ugh die....

The little man and Mr. B had a fun little play date today, colin was grabbing him and mr. b was kissing on him. lol during this play time, Colin gave me a few raspberries. I almost fell over....hes is getting too big I cant even process it. Tonight, I gave him his bottle....six, yes six ounces. what happened to my little boy who ate 2 -3 oz ?!

 

I also learned tonight that a moms hearing is super sonic. I could hear him whining over the tv, and when I say whining it was like a low muffled whine.

 

Ive also been working so hard to lose this baby weight, gym, diet everything. Today it all went down the gym, no go, I was exhausted, diet hahaha - i ate pasta, I even made a sugar free fat free chocolate pudding and ate the whole thing.....being depressed SUCKS!!

 



Four Month Big Boy status

Colin had his four month check up today which equals shots, & measurements. C-man is 13.13lbs, 25in, and his head 43cm (big head) lol

He did so good with his shots, he was given two shots and liquid drink. The first shot he didnt react, the second he cried hysteria for about 30 seconds and then he was done. Hes been sleeping pretty much all day, and has a low grade fever but I know its because of the shots.

We start food tonight, that should be exciting. Need to decide what to try. I might just start with cereal, and work from there. But Ill keep everyone posted on that.

Here are some pictures of my handsome sweet sweet boy:

missing my honey...

So here I am four days in and I dont feel any better about it. My Honey had to go away for work, away as in another country :( makes me so sad, I thought after the first couple od days it would get better and its only getting worse. Im not exactly sure why it is so hard for me. I know it has to do with the baby, my hormones, and the fact I barely ever spend any time away from him. Waking up and go to sleep without the man I love is one of the hardest things ever.  I  have to thank Apple, because without face time, my heart would be so much more sad than it is, if that is even possible. Im afraid Colin is not going to recognize him when he gets back, two weeks is a long time to a little baby who is just learning things. - which bring sme to the next topic....

I take colin for his FOUR MONTH CHECK UP!! are you kidding me...the new things, he is 3/4s rolling over...im terrified hell do it while his daddy is gone, and hell miss it. & at our last appointment, the dr mentioned we'd be talking about food at this appointment. My honey is going to miss his first feeding. I promised to video it, so he can see it.

It just breaks my heart....makes me so sad. I cry almost every night going to bed, and waking up. During the day I've been trying my best to keep myself busy busy busy, and its working, but as soon as home, and im here, and looking at the door I feel like he should be here. I feel so pathetic. Never in my life, was I the kind of person who cant be alone, its not specifically the being alone, its the being without my best friend, my better half, the love of my life.

Thanks for listening to my lameness..LOL

Look forward till tomorrow when I update Colin's four month info...SO INSANE!! where has four months gone?

OHHH!!! real quick, my gym did the right thing, and the woman who was watching colin in the kid care is no longer taking care of the children. Made me so happy that they took me seriously, listened to what was going on and handled it accordingly.

Had my High school reunion....that was interesting. We drank and hung out, and went to blue martini and i fucking kidding myself, I hate that fing place, had one drink and left. Ended up drinking a litttttle more than I thought I would, was HUNG over driving honey to the airport--hung over from crying and drinking. But it was nice to see everyone, and meet new people.

saddest day as a mother thus far...

I experienced the worst thing a mother of a new baby could ever experience.  I left my son at the day care in the gym I attend.  After about 40 mins, "Colin's mom please come to the day care" came over the loud speaker. Except it sounded like paulina's mom. (not very well spoken). When I went into the day care to get him, he was hysterical. We have only been attending for a week now and he has never been upset before. I was able to finall concole him after a few minutes. My friend and I decided to get a shake, and Colin started crying again. I looked down at him, and he had a hand print bruise on his leg, it was a small one, like a young child squeezed him. 

I felt my entire world crash down around me. My friend and I went into the day care and confronted the staff. They had nothing to say, not a word. Couldnt explain what had happened. Said he stayed in the infant area, and no one touched him.

At that I went and got the manager of the gym. We walked back to the day care, and still NOTHING. A little boy steps forward to tell me that he saw Colin in the toddler area. Finally the woman admitted she took him over there to watch him. Obviously she did not do that. All I got was an "I am sorry, we are sorry"

I left the gym crying. Couldnt speak or produce thought. My friend went home, she lives basically across the street. Told her husband what happened and he immediately went to the gym. He was speaking to a different manager, and he received emails to the district and regional managers.

I emailed them when I got home, a nice long email, telling them step by step what happened. How I am not sorry is not a good enough answer. This morning I received an email back, stating how this situation was terrible, and to allow them to look further into the sitution.

I feel as if I failed my son. I am here to protect him from the evils of this world, and I failed to do that. I failed to prevent someone else from hurting him. I get it, a little kid did it to him, but, the people I was paying to watch him, did not do their job, I trusted they would keep an eye on my defenseless little man. Yet they did not!! My heart is completely broken, I am also filled with a rage that can not be put to words. Something must happen, or I will completely lose my cool I will no longer be a professional type person, I will let the side of me out that has not been loose for a long long time.

Happy Three Months

Three months already, absolutely incredible. Youre favorite things include, kicking your feet, nawing on your hands when you are staring and playing with them, smiling, staring at your momma and your daddy, cooing, napping, eating and playing with your babies (these little blankets that have a bear head attached).

Just tonight you grabbed your feet for the first time, made me cry, all these new things you are doing just make me so happy.

first trip to the zoo

Today was Colin's first trip to the Palm Beach Zoo. We went with nana and Aiden. It was so nice, we got there later in the day around three, it rained for a little so it was cool. The zoo was debuting two new baby Florida Panthers around 530. Well we got lucky and were able to see them because we got to that area just before 5 when the zoo closes. Funniest part of all of this, is these cubs were replacing the panther that died in March, oh that Panther his name was COLIN PATRICK. Are you kidding?! haha two months before Colin was born the panther died...my son, is a reincarnated panther for sure.

We had an amazing time, Aiden enjoyed all the animals, I was able to spend some time with my mom, and Colin was a perfect angel. He cried once, so i fed him lol after feeding him on the airplane on our trip, now I dont care where I feed him. Here are some pictures, I love my little muffin man. He has truly completed my life.

Colins two new favorite things are Airplane and sitting in his little baby snug chair

 

 

almost a month, am I joking??

I can't believe I havent posted on here in almost a month. Who do I think I am? Just a momma whos been sucked into reading about seven books in the last 3 weeks, and took a trip to NH with Colin, started actually really working out, not too busy going or entertaining myself. LOL where to start.....

Colin now weights 12.5lbs, 22inches. Only in the 25th percentile, but thats fine, I'd prefer he wasn't in the 100th, that would equal obese baby pants. We had a great sleep schedule going, but I decided no more nap nanny in bed, hes getting too big and the risk of him rolling over is now greater. So, he decided to retaliate and not sleep, little tard, hes lucky he is cute.

The end of July Colin and I went to New Hampshire to visit my grandparents. Let me tell you, he was an ANGEL. He was a little fussy the way there, (we flew alone) he had ONE bad day while we were there. after that, he was a little boy in heaven. The weather was perfection, we were outside all day everyday except for one when it rained a little. He got to meet his great grandparents, great aunts and one of his coolest cousins (yes tracy Im talking about you!) The flight back, was horrific, it was suppose to take apprx. 7 hours door to door, well it took 13! yes you read that right 13! I wanted to kill someone, break something and punch a wall. Colin was good for the most part, but the last flight home, ha he was miserable. which is understandable, he had a long long day. I was getting nasty looks for breast feeding on the flight, and you know what fuck you lady. I have to feed my chilkd, and prevent his ears from hurting him, so.....take your insecurities, and dirty looks and shove them up your old ass. yes I said it.

Colin has a clogged tear duct, and it has gotten so bad. And as crazy as this is, now he has the discharge in his other eye. So I took him to the dr, and the looked over his eye, and gave me an ointment to hopefully clear it up. *FINGERS CROSSED*

Ive been reading a lot like I said I think its seven books since the beginning of July. Im addicted to reading. I always have been, when he naps I could read a couple hundred pages (I read on my phone so its probbaly really half of that) My sweetie teases me, says that Im going to be that housewife that collects fabio covered books. LOL 

Well Here are some pictures of the muffin. Ugh 6 days and hes three months! I promise to try and update more often than I have been. I have finished all the books Ive wanted sooo itll be easy lol

 

 

Happy two months sweetie

Moose man turned two months Saturday July 14th. I think I've said it in every post, but time is flying. We spent the day at Coconut Cove Waterpark for Mikey's 2nd Birthday. Then daddy and mommy had adult time. We went out for our friend's 30th birthday. Only last two hours, but it was nice to get out, and be with adults and have adult conversation. haha Here are some of his two month pictures <3

some pictures...

Here are some new pictures of the moose man, I'd be able to post more, if I didnt lose my pictures ;-(
He's getting so big, I can't believe it. He's such a mommy's boy. He cries when I leave the room, he follows me with eyes as whenever I move. He has completed Ricky and I's life <3

hardest thing after delivery.....

is losing weight. Ugh, I am struggling big time. yes I only had a baby eight weeks ago, and have been cleared to work out for two weeks now. But I feel I should have more motivation, and I should start dropping the weight. Instead, I eat because I get bored, and by the time I can go to the gym Im exhausted.

BUT, I need to get motivated because the biffle is getting married in October, and I order a size six bridesmaid dress. So I have to get my shit together. I am hoping, this will help push me!!

Today, it starts...(hopefully)

8 weeks...

My handsome boy is eight weeks now. I cant believe eight weeks ago I was delivering Colin. It truly feels like it just happened. I realized I havent written in a while. Nothing crazy has happened. Colin is a little more vocal, he stay awake longer, he is rolling from his front to his back, smiles a lot more, follows me with his eyes and he is grasping at things. It is so amazing to see all the new things he discovers. He is sleeping a little better, but Ill tell you, if you mess up his bedtime routine ONE NIGHT, you are SOL!! and he wont sleep for shit!

He went through another growth spurt, and honestly, I can understand how shaken baby syndrome happens. You feel so defenseless, theres nothing you can do, you get no sleep, and the baby does is cry and cry and cry. Granted, I could never shake my baby, never ever, but I do understand how some women or men reach their breaking point and dont know what to do. Its terrible.

I had my first encounter with a dickhead over my child. I took my best friend to her doctors appointment, and while she was back with the dr, Colin startetd getting fussy. Some man that was sitting next to me, and told me my son will probably be a politician since he wont stop "talking". REALLY DUDE....f off...I was so upset, I couldnt believe it. But, he's a miserable old man, so there ya go.

The fourth of July came and went. It was nice, the first time daddy and Mommy went on the boat with out the baby. It was fun, we hung with friends in lake boca. had a blast.

I was able to have a skype date with my favorite lady and her adorable son ( lissa and sage). It was so nice, I can't believe how big he is, hes almost 2.5 yrs old, he was talking and everything. So adorable!!!

On a terrible horrible so upsetting note. I had to get a new phone mine was broken, I thought I had been backing up to my icloud, and I wasnt. So I lost all my pictures of my baby shower, Colin's room step by step, AND EVERY SINGLE PICTURE I HAD OF COLIN!! from the hospital to now. I was devastated. Yes I was able to get some from facebook, instagram, friends and family. BUT, i do not post nearly 1/2 the pictures I take. I stalk my son, STALK, I lost 900+ pictures. I was so upset, and cried and cried but, I know I can make more memories, and I learned my lesson. F icloud, I will back my phone up once a week haah and I need to get an external hard drive so I dont lose the pictures again.

Mommy & me, outings & Six weeks, OH MY!!

On Wednesday Colin & I went to our first mommy and me class. It was so great to be around other moms, especially new ones. There was a little boy who was 4 days older then Colin, one that was two weeks old, and a few that were almost four months. It was nice, we discussed different things like starting routines, breast feeding and any other topic you could think of. It was really nice.

After that we went to the mall, with Amy & Nicole. We walked and walked and walked. It was so great to get out see my friends and have adult time. The craziest things happen at Town Center Mall. First, I had to feed Colin, so I sat down and did what I had to do. There was this creepy man, who saw I was feeding him, sat down in the chair across from me, watched me feed him, once I was done, he got up and walked away!!! CREEP SHOW!! I couldnt believe it. Disgusting!! I almost died. After walking the mall for almost two hours. I drove down to sunrise.

I met Sevie at the sawgrass mall, we walked around for a little bit. Then we ran over to David's Bridal to pick out Bridesmaid dresses, I can't believe her wedding is only four months away. That is insane, I feel like her and Mike just got engaged and now were picking dresses out. It went well and we found the dress the we are going to wear. It was nice to spend some time with sev since I dont get to see her all the time.

What a day that was. Colin was NOT a happy camper, he cried for the entire hour car ride home! I wanted to pull my hair out. I love being a mom, but when he cries, and cries and cries and theres nothing I can do, I want to kill. It breaks my heart yet at the same time I become rageful. :-/ I feel terrible for getting so angry, but afer speaking to other moms I know Im not the only one out there.

Now, Moose man is six weeks old. I have my six week post-op appointment, which means hopefully I get cleared to workout, ANNNDDDD have sexy time!! hahahahah Can not wait for both. Im ready to work off this post baby weight. Enough about me, on to my moose. Ugh I can't believe he is six weeks old. I feel like every post I say that and it might sound redundant but it is crazy to me. His newest thing is he SMILES. not a little smirk, a full mouth open smile. and let me tell you, it is the cutest smile in the whole wide world.

You always hear people say you never know a love like a mothers love for her child and let me tell you. The love I feel for my son, is something I never thought I could feel. I would do anything for him, and want him to be the greatest he can be and I do do whatever I can to make that happen. Not to mention his kisses are the best around.

Here is a picture of the boog smiling:

B...my Sweet Sweet B

You leave tomorrow morning, on the greatest adventure. I want to wish you nothing but the best, I hope B-more (as people from Baltimore call it) is everything you hoped for and more. I am going to miss you so very much, but please know, Ricky and I demand you embrace this move to the fullest. I have told you before, and will continue you to tell you I admire you for your courage, and wish I at some point in my life, I would have done what you are doing. I love you, and I look forward to hearing all the stories you have about your move. I wish you the best of luck. x0